Life Lessons Album Notes


Intro To Life Lessons

Throughout 2015 and 2016 a strange combination of changes took place in my life. Amidst them, a picture formed in my mind. It was not something I understood, and it was unlike other artistic pictures (or visions) I've had in the past. This led to my spending about two years writing, demoing, and developing these songs, until finally turning them into this double album.

I'm not really sure what I was trying to accomplish or say. I'm as curious about it as I assume my listeners are. The process of bringing these songs about was very instinctual and impulsive. It wasn't exactly in my control. So I can't explain all that the album is. I can merely describe it's features. Life lessons is in two halves. Disc one is called Life Lessons from Blond Girls. It has a pink cover with a blue stripe. Blond Girls is (in my opinion) funny, cheeky, and playful. Disc two is called Life Lessons from Vixens. It has a blue cover with a pink stripe. Vixens is a little more aggressive, more forthright, and more representative of a hardened perspective, compared to Blond Girls. Both albums use themes of religion, sexuality, relationships, and mortality. Both poke fun at the current condition of the dating world, sometimes with the attitude of a scorner and sometimes with the attitude of a competitor. Fundamentally, I think this project expresses a curiosity regarding what relationships look like or feel like in a culture (or sexual economy) that is void of romance and meaning. What binds us? What motivates our companionship? At what level are we joined that is more than physical and less than religious? To quote from Body Like a Christian Girl, "She'd say without Jesus, what makes life worth living for? I'm not sure, Honey, I'm not sure." The "she" in this line describes a reckless ex-stripper who wears a crucifix as an aesthetic choice rather than an expression of a religious identity. A conflict persists throughout the songs. Despite descriptions of thrilling promiscuity, the singer laments, "when I have a son I hope he's not like me." "Don't try to save me." "Call it the sacred hand of Jesus, call it biology, but something in my broken nature doesn't agree with me." In the end, noted in the song Hey, he seems to express some level of peace in concluding, "Life isn't made of dreams, it's just as bad as it seems, a bunch of people building swimming pools in hell. But it makes sense to me, if we've gotta burn, my love, at least we'll have a story worth a tell."

This was a difficult project to complete and I'm grateful for everyone who helped me develop these songs. I'm grateful for the people who were in my life and fueled the pictures in my head. A huge thanks to Joshua Ling, Michael Kinchen, and Daniel Faust for helping my find the personality of some of these songs. Thanks to Johnathan Loos for helping me mix, and to Matt Tuttle for mastering my less than perfect mixes. And to those of you who will listen to it, thank you.

Acknowledgments

Life Lessons was written and recorded by Tyler Nail at Red House Studios, mixed by Tyler Nail and Johnathan Loos, and mastered by Matt Tuttle. Cover photography by Tommy McGlaun. Art work designed by Tyler Nail and Edited by Michelle Vernon. Album note photography by Cory Wood, featuring Lexi Rose. Life Lessons features performances by Joshua Ling (electric guitar), Michael Kinchen (bass), and Daniel Faust (drums).

Life Lessons from Blond Girls

the worst person I ever was

performed by Tyler Nail

Dear paint by number artist, my how you’ve stayed between the lines

Someone call the doctor because I think I've broken my heart

I remember when we met being cool kids in the downtown

I thought to myself, is it suddenly January because this girl is really cool

We fell for each other quick (real fucking quick)

I thought to myself, are you the son of God, because Jesus Christ

I was like a blind man at a brothel – I never saw you coming

But just like a fat kid on a bobsled, it went downhill quick

Real fucking quick – real fucking quick

You were like a simile, because you made me think of other things

You were a metaphor out of out of meta-five

Because you explained things different from reality

You were ironic in an ironic kind of way

You were a soap opera about the Marley family

You were melodrama

If Shakespeare met you, he'd take one look and say

Now that's a tragedy

You’re like the Sistein Chapel

Most of us have never seen the real you, and we’re okay with that

And we're okay with that

Lassie, you classic bitch

Thank you for helping me to grow the garden of me

I’ve reaped a great harvest and all I needed was a bunch of your bullshit

Some say romance is like a river

Or a mountain

Or a coffee

I say romance is like Santa Claus

It doesn’t exist

That’s right, Santa doesn’t exist

Just like the easter bunny or Jesus

They exist as much as Spongebob does, but I digress

Lady

You were the salad bar at my golden corral

Fucking useless

You were the child safe sword in my toy chest

Fucking pointless

You were the white crayon in my box of crayons

White and in the way

I wish I could say I'd hate you forever

But I wont live that long

But jus like my last car ride, I'll take it to my grave

Love always

The worst person I ever was

don't fucking call me baby (#2)

performed by Tyler Nail

Call me Daddy in the sheets

Call me woman when I’m weak

Call me on the phone when you don’t have shit to do

And I’ll make some time for you

Call me someone else’s name

Call me pussy when I’m lame

Call me maybe when you’re hanging with your boy

I can’t care less to tell the truth

But don’t you call me baby

You don’t know me that way

Don’t you call me lovely

This thing isn’t here to stay

I’ll call you good girl when you’re good

I’ll call you bad girl when I should

I’ll call you slut or bitch or whatever you’re into

I’ll say all the things for you

But don’t you call me baby

You don’t know me really

Please don’t call me lovely

It just feels to silly

I’m not sentimental (you mean nothing to me)

And we’re quite ordinary (this is nothing fateful)

I’m not here to love you (I don’t need a woman)

So don’t be here to scare me (don’t get clingy on me)

Things don’t have a reason (Jesus didn’t make us)

We just met over coffee (coffee shops are common)

You don’t really need me (you don’t “need” a boyfriend)

Never say you love me (we’re not high school students)

Don’t you call me baby

I don’t know you that way

Don’t you call me lovely

Please don’t ever call me babe

Please don’t ever call me babe

Please don’t ever call me bae

posh spice

performed by Tyler Nail

You’re so posh, everybody swears you’re a French girl

The way you split it down the middle, little bit of evil, littler Farrell

I swear to gosh, everybody knows where you're coming from

You’re like the girl, from the show, with the guys – yeah, Zoey Chanelle

Shorty likes to run with the big boys

Shorty gets sprung on the cool toys

Shorty likes the carbs and the retro everyday

Girly likes the boys in the corner

Girly likes the spring and the summer

Girly likes to see all the sweet boys running away

You have cool clothes, the all black gear with the beat boots

And you wear it like a Lennon, wear it like you’re winning some kind of game

No one can tell that you’re coming in the bar with the fury

And you’re waiting to attack the second guy that asks “what’s your name?”

Shorty likes the sound of the trap beat

Shorty likes the boys in the big league

Shorty likes the cars and the retro everyday

Girly likes the guys and the good times

Girly’s getting high on the sunshine

Girly likes to see all the cute boys running away

And no one’s telling you a damn thing you don’t know

From the weight of Syria to the evidence for God

And you don’t care about that superficial stuff

You get all your clothes consignment and you can’t stand Amazon

Guys just want sex from you, and that shit isn’t cool

You don’t want ‘relationships,’ you just want someone to fuck with

Shorty likes to run with the big boys

Shorty likes the guns with the big noise

Shorty likes the cactus and karma everyday

Girly likes the boys with the smooth moves

Girly likes the bugs with the tattoos

Girly likes to watch all the nice guys running away

Shorty likes the wine and the dining

Shorty’s getting by on the timing

Shorty likes to walk by the street signs everyday

Girly likes the broken disasters

Girly likes the bodies and the bastards

Girly likes to watch all the cool guys running away

for lent

performed by Tyler Nail

Well I gave up blondes for lent and thank God I did

That stuff was getting in my head

It keeps me up at night, makes me forget wrong and right

And it’s getting pretty heavy on my bed

Dirty blonde, better get the hell away before something gets going on

Dirty blonde, better get the hell away before everything goes wrong

Well I gave up blondes for lent to get a little closer to God

Because there wasn’t nothing holy about those days

Well I was chasing Blondie down every single Friday night

Til I finally saw the evil of my ways

Dirty blonde, better get the hell away before something gets going on

Dirty blonde, better get the hell away before everything goes wrong

Well I gave up blondes for lent, at least on Friday nights

The same way that I’ve done 1,000 times

And if I see a blonde tonight, in the name of Jesus Christ

Well God bless my soul I might just change my mind

Dirty blonde, better get the hell away before something gets going on

Dirty blonde, better get the hell away before everything goes wrong

fuck me (like a guitar)

performed by Tyler Nail, Joshua Ling, Daniel Faust, and Michael Kinchen

Fuck me, you’re the saddest girl I’ve ever seen

Blondie, you’re the genuine martini queen

Please don’t ask me what I’m thinking, you’ll know too soon, you’ll know too soon

I’m wide awake and you’ve been drinking all evening and all afternoon

"Fuck me," said the softest legs I’ve been between

Roughly, baby, treat me like a movie scene

Please don’t ask me what I’m doing, you know too well, you know too well

We both have a lot to prove before we go to hell, we go to hell

Fuck me, I knew you’d wake me up from sleeping in

Lucky me, I should have known you’d want to go again

Please don’t ask me what I’m thinking, there’s nothing for to know about

Please don’t ask me how I’m feeling, there’s nothing there to figure out

Go home little lady, go home little lady

Go home little lady, go home little lady

I’m not going to be your baby

You don’t need to try and persuade me

You’re not going to fucking save me

You’re just going to drive me crazy

Just go home little lady, go home little lady

Just go home little lady, go home little lady

when I have a son

performed by Tyler Nail

When I have a son I hope he’s not like me

And doesn’t feel women like electric wire

I hope he understands when the grass is green

It doesn’t get greener on the other side

When I have a son I hope he’s not like me

He doesn’t chase the girls with the yellow hair

I hope he’s got a little bit of self-control

When Blondie gets down to her underwear

I hope he don’t spend all the cash he makes

Looking for a girl that’ll make mistakes

I hope he wont drive from town to town

Looking for the girls that’ll throw it down

When I have a son I hope he understands

You play with the fire and you get the flames

I hope he’s pretty boring and he wastes his time

I hope he likes cats and video games

When I have a son I hope he’s not like me

He doesn’t get high off the long white socks

I hope he doesn’t pledge allegiance to the swag

Or pull his damn neck trying to get her off

I hope don’t sign on the dotted line

I hope he thinks thrills are a waste of time

I hope he don’t get tweaked on the fun

And in the morning say, “Damn, who have I done?”

When I have a son I hope he’s not like me

Set aside the body and use the brain

But really what’s funny bout the whole damn thing

My daddy used to tell himself the very same

I hope he don’t get knocked on the ground

Or turn into a wolf when the sun goes down

I hope he don’t get strung out on skin

Or lose his damn mind trying to get it in

I hope he don’t drive through the dead of night

Looking for the best time of his life

Hooked on Blondie ain’t the way to be

When I have a son I hope he’s not like me

Hooked on Blondie ain’t the way to be

When I have a son I hope he’s not like me

throw it on him

performed by Tyler Nail

Your mans a million miles away, he barely hears a word you say

You cry yourself to sleep, and try your best to keep yourself together through the day

Your broken heart won’t break him down, you still can’t make him come around

But there’s one good way to fix a broken love like this and make a home out of a house

Throw it on him like you’re going to hell

Throw it on him like a wishing well

Throw it on him like a carousel sometime

Throw it on him like it’s out of style

Throw it on him like you’re going wild

Throw it on him like you’re going to hell sometime

You've tried to build another fire, to turn the dark into desire

When you’ve tried it all, and your backs against the wall, there’s one solution worth your while

Throw it on him like you’re going to hell

Throw it on him like a wishing well

Throw it on him like a carousel sometime

Throw it on him like it’s out of style

Throw it on him like you’re going wild

Throw it on him like you’re going to hell sometime

It’s not that hard to work with what your mama gave you

It might sound easy but it’s likely going to save you

When you have him by the fault line of his genes/jeans

You can turn him into anything you need

Throw it on him like you’re going to hell

Throw it on him like a wishing well

Throw it on him like a carousel sometime

Throw it on him like it’s out of style

Throw it on him like you’re going wild

Throw it on him like you’re going to hell sometime

You got to get a little love somewhere

You got to get a little love somewhere

You don’t have to be a symphony

You don’t have to be a fantasy

You don’t have to wear a wedding ring

You don’t have to wear anything

He just needs a little company

A little bit of what’d you do to me

You got to get a little love somewhere

You got to get a little love somewhere

TLiC

performed by Tyler Nail, Joshua Ling, Daniel Faust, and Michael Kinchen

(original spoken lyrics were cut from recording)

I’ve got tinder love, and I’ve got insta care

I’ve got everything I need from a girl with yellow hair

I’ve got tinder lover, and I’ve got insta care

And when the world is going wrong, I always know that she’ll be there

I knew you were a right one for me

I’m so glad you didn’t left me baby

You always show me how you see me

I double tap that cuz I love it baby

Shake it up, shake it up, all through the night

I keep you right by my bedside

Put the cell phone on silent

I’ll love you again in the morning

I’ve got tinder love, and I’ve got insta care

I’ve got everything I need from a girl with yellow hair

I’ve got tinder lover, and I’ve got insta care

And when the world is going wrong, I always know that she’ll be there

You follow me where I am going

On every platform that you’re into baby

Your life is like a vintage poster

And your aesthetic drives me fucking crazy

Shake it up, shake it up, all through the night

I keep you right by my bedside

Put the cell phone on silent

I’ll need you again in the morning

I’ve got tinder love, and I’ve got insta care

I’ve got everything I need from a girl with yellow hair

I’ve got tinder lover, and I’ve got insta care

And when the world is going wrong, I always know that she’ll be there

And we make love at the snapchat of a finger

The bodies mine for seven seconds, maybe longer

And I’m confident you’ll never leave my screen

Cuz it takes too long to block someone on seven different things

I’ve got tinder love, and I’ve got insta care

I’ve got everything I need from a girl with yellow hair

I’ve got tinder lover, and I’ve got insta care

And when the world is going wrong, I always know that she’ll be there

(This is for all the girls that swiped left, you know who you are

Sometimes you have to take a chance and see what love can do

I know there’s a lot of catfish in the sea, guys are weird in all new ways

And what's right for me may be left for you

But take a step in the right direction, make a right kind of connection

There’s not much me and Bill O’rielly agree on, but we both know what side of the isle to be on

It’s hard to be at the right place at the right time of day

Sometimes your Mr. Right seems a million swipes away

Sometimes all you have is left is lefts at the end of the night

But if swiping right is wrong, I don’t want to be right)

We;; I’ve got tinder love, and I’ve got insta care

I’ve got everything I need from a girl with yellow hair

I’ve got tinder lover, and I’ve got insta care

And when the world is going wrong, I always know that she’ll be there

self portrait - first draft

performed by Tyler Nail

Maybe there aint nothing better, at all, at all